Wide Awake and Barely Breathing
by bellalupus
Summary: Her nights are still plagued by those terrifying dreams. His mind is still filled with the guilt he holds with doing the ‘right thing.’ Post New Moon, can Edward and Bella’s relationship ever be the same?


**A/N:**This idea popped into my head and was impossible to ignore, I'm not quite sure how long this will be, but I do like the story. It's all cannon, takes place following NM (Eclipse & BD haven't happened...) and will also be in both Bella _and_Edward POV. I'm going to warn you right now, I'm planning on making this pretty dark. Any questions? Well, I'll try my best to answer them.

DISCLAIMER: SM owns all things Twilight.

* * *

**BPOV**

It was another, unsurprisingly rainy day in Forks. But today, I could care less, because on this particular Saturday afternoon I was headed to the Cullen's for a movie night.

It was _odd_ when I wasn't immediately greeted at the door by Edward- or Alice for that matter, but nonetheless I walked into the house, expecting at least one of the Cullen's to be waiting for me.

I left the door open, and stood expectantly in the empty foyer. Waiting, waiting, waiting. _What the hell? Where are they?_

"Edward?" I called out softly.

Silence.

My stomach dropped, and I felt an involuntary chill sweep down my spine.

"Hello?" My voice rose in panic.

The house remained quiet.

My heart began to pound in the stillness of the house. _Where could they be? Didn't Alice call me earlier to invite me? Edward was fine last night…_ Oh God! _This can't happen again, they can't leave me!_

"Edward, please!" I screamed, broken and desperate.

The answering silence ripped through me. The floor disappeared beneath my feet, and my insides tore violently from my chest. I screamed as I plummeted through the blackness, bleeding and crying. My hands clawed the smothering shadows, attempting to grab onto something, to anything.

My voice cracked as his name left my lips over and over again, my panicked tone rising into a shriek,

"Edward! Edward! EDWARD!"

I was frantically calling for my savior, who had left me like I always knew he would; my savior who had left me just like before.

I awoke thick with sweat, gasping for the air that couldn't seem to fill my lungs.

Edward was grasping tightly at my arms, his golden eyes filled with worry.

* * *

**EPOV**

I watched Bella sleep from her rocking chair.

She was beautifully tangled against her sheets. Her thick chestnut hair splayed wildly across her pillow. A slight flush colored her cheeks, and her full lips were parted slightly with breath.

A smile spread across my face in the darkness.

I listened to her steady heartbeat; the rhythm pulsated in my head, forming a teasing melody that I could never get quite right.

She murmured something incomprehensible, and I immediately leapt from the chair to crouch by her bed. Bella was always so fascinating while she slept.

Her heart rate quickened, and her brows knitted together as she dreamt.

"_Edward?_"

I froze, listening anxiously to the rapid breaths she now took. This scene was all too familiar, it occurred every night. Bella would go to bed peacefully enough, but she would wake thrashing and screaming. It pained me to see her like this, but it killed me to know that I was the cause of her distress.

Although she would never admit it, I knew that I caused her nightmares. Her screams were evidence enough. What I believed would save her life, had ended up destroying her. I will never forgive myself for leaving her.

"_Edward, please!_"

My cold, dead heart broke in two at the sound of her desperate scream. I reached out and gently swept the hair from her eyes. She clawed wildly at me, her small room filling with screams and sobs.

I heard Charlie stir in his bedroom. His thoughts, although sleep-dazed were full of sadness for his daughter.

I didn't move, Charlie had stopped checking on her after the second consecutive week of nightmares. His thoughts briefly drifted into contacting a therapist. I mentally begged him not to do so.

Bella screamed out my name, her frightened cries pierced through me.

I hate myself. I would never, ever forgive myself for these sins. Bella doesn't deserve this.

Her heart raced to an alarming pace, I reached out to hold her down as she jerked violently against the bed.

She awoke with frightened eyes, tears and sweat mingled on her cheeks. She was hyperventilating.

"Bella," I murmured, "I am so sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Her voice was breathless, disconsolate. "You have _nothing_ to be sorry for."

She was a terrible liar.

I tenderly wrapped my arms around her body. She was shaking.

"Promise me you'll stay." She whispered tearfully into my chest.

"I will never leave you." I swore.


End file.
